I think about my father who passed away the day after my birthday in 2006 and thought of him more vividly on Father’s Day.  I am writing down these thoughts so that I can remember and honor him more.

My father was a super strict father and a very stern disciplinarian, typical of the traditional fathers of many ages ago. His mother was the same and he inherited this “I am the parent, you are the child” style of parenting. What’s more, I was the eldest and the only girl, so he was even more extremely protective and he called that love. I was not allowed to go to parties, even when I was already in college, unless I ask permission at least one month ahead. I had to be at home by 6 PM so that restricted me from many extra-curricular activities and I felt curtailed. It was only when he was out-of-town on road construction projects that I had more freedom and was able to do my favorite activities with my mother’s blessings.

For a child like me, this type of inflexible discipline, not adjusting to the changing times was a difficult juncture in my youth. On the other hand, he also had set a very good example for us kids. As most parents are, no one is perfect but we all try to do what is “best as we perceive it” for our children. That said, here is one very significant event that I will always treasure from my father. It is the essence of my being, the principle by which I live my life — HONESTY!

Positive thinking… Be HONESTLY HONEST! Be GENUINE! Be AUTHENTIC!

My father was a civil engineer and he worked for the government. He constructed many roads and bridges and was away on these projects for several weeks at a time. As a project engineer, he received many bids from private companies. They were always courting his favors. One day, one business owner came to our house. It was a Sunday afternoon and quite unusual to conduct business.  My father acceded to his request to meet with him. My father received him very well and all agreements seemed to be acceptable. Suddenly, I heard my  father’s loud and angry voice from my room. He was very upset and reprimanded the businessman on his conduct, on his proposal that included shorting the job, keeping the costs down, and splitting the “profit” with my father. Thus, the businessman not only would cheat the government, he would also cheat the people as the project would not be done properly, and then he would enrich himself plus bribe my father. Needless to say, the meeting ended rapidly and my father dismissed him quickly from our house. Thereafter, my father summoned all three of us and gave us this lesson:

“Never cheat, never lie. Be HONEST. Be TRUE. Do not attempt to steal anything that does not belong to you. Do not obtain something that you did not earn properly and HONESTLY. Do not be envious of what you do not have; HONESTLY work hard for anything and everything you want to attain. Whatever thing that was not yours in the first place will never be yours. If you improperly treat your fellow human being, your actions will be admonished in a more severe way, not just hurting you but hurting you where it hurts the most. HONOR, ETHICS, INTEGRITY, MORALITY, RIGHTEOUSNESS, TRUSTWORTHINESS — Remember these all your life and you will be rewarded. TRUTH always wins in the end.”

HONESTY. AUTHENTICITY. GENUINENESS. POSITIVE THINKING

To think honestly is to be positive. To subvert the truth, to lie, to make appearances, to deceive are all negative thoughts. It is always better and easier to be who we are, what we are and to be genuine. If you make yourself appear “better” or “good”, it is just like plastic surgery… you will need more plastic surgery to keep repairing. If you accept yourself, and if you are HONEST TO YOURSELF, you will be HONEST TO OTHER PEOPLE. If you are HONEST TO YOURSELF, you will be able to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and you can focus on your strengths and THINK POSITIVELY, THINK HONESTLY. Your HONESTY will radiate outward positively and this HONEST ENERGY will be felt by any person you meet. There is no need to “act”. We are all here on this worldly stage where we are all actors and actresses, playing our own role for the goodness of this world. HONEST ACTING is somehow forgotten…dreams of being in a fantasy all the time is a drain on your spirit…one day, your act will be exposed and all the true actors will leave you alone on the stage.

LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH! There is no need to hide. Just be genuine. Be authentic. Be honest. Be positive. Be truthful! SMILE…LAUGH…ENJOY… Being untrue escalates negative thoughts, promotes lying, increases negative stress and proliferates more injustices. Be a TRUE PLAYER and there is no need to bury yourself in your shell all the time to escape the consequences of your deception.

POSITIVE THINKING HONESTLY! POSITIVE HONESTY!

POSITIVE THOUGHTS FROM HONESTY.